Once again this week, I threw myself wholeheartedly into a Google search for the largest metal object in the world, if only because I know that my scores of avid followers on this blog have all been holding their breath since I brought this subject up in last week’s blog entry. And once again this week, I got completely sidetracked. You would have too, after scanning the Google results for “large metal object”.
Just so you can have a better understanding of what came up on this search, here are a few samples:
“A large metal object drifts slowly through space…”
“An unusually high-velocity large metal object concealed in the nasal septum.”
“Large metal object found located under sea”
“Trapped inside a large metal object flying for ten hours.”
“Large metal object falls from sky in Roosevelt”
“A college student was killed in a freak accident when, according to police, a large metal object fell on him Friday”
“I have a large metal object caked in cement. “
“Have you ever wanted your very own custom-made metal object?
I admit that an unusually high-velocity large metal object concealed in the nasal septum REALLY grabbed my interest for a while, but I just couldn’t figure out how to turn that into something relevant to C Marshall and my thousands of devoted readers on this site. So on went my search, with many detours, until my search fingers were stopped dead in their tracks by the following Google result:
“Magnetic Boy, 7, attracts electronic and metal objects”
The first thing I did, of course, was click on the above and read the information about this Magnetic Boy. It came from a legitimate source and there was no air of “hoaxiness” in it.
Then I watched the video. You can watch it for yourself right here: Magnetic Boy
Folks, this kid is for real. He’s magnetic. Metal is attracted to him and sticks to him. In the video, he’s got forks and knives and the TV remote stuck all over his chest. No one else in his family is magnetic and of course there’s no good explanation for this, but there is no denying that this boy is a human magnet. He’s not allowed near the computer because he makes it go weird. I’m sure he’ll have a lot of trouble with credit cards, cell phones and electronic keys too. For some reason he can even get china plates to stick to him. However, because this is a blog about metal and metal machinery, we don’t really care about the china plates, do we?
Imagine having a magnetic boy of your own. You wouldn’t need a metal detector anymore: you could take him to the beach to find buried treasure, coins and jewelry. Once a huge chest of gold coins gets stuck to his chest, you can cash out and buy yourself a sturdy boat. Now you’re really in business: load up the kid on your boat and head for the high seas. Sooner than later, giant shipwrecks, plane wrecks and other metal objects of all kinds will get sucked to the ocean’s surface and you can help yourself to what you want and sell the rest as scrap metal. Now that you’re the scrap metal king of the world, you can take him to Ghana or Venezuela or Mexico or Nevada to find gold and other underground precious metals. You’ll already have the cash from your scrap metal operation to fund your mining business.
Now you can retire in style and pretty much do what you want. You might feel inclined to contribute to the betterment of humanity by renting out your kid to the military to ferret out terrorist organizations by finding their weapons stashes. Once that mission has been accomplished, you can rejoice that you have now created world peace.
I wasn’t able to find any more recent updates on the Magnetic Boy. Is it possible that he already went underground and had something to do with finding bin Laden’s location?
I wouldn’t rule it out.
-Anja Wulf